Right Gender - Joke

K.... I thought this was good so I figured I would post it :)

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
1) Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, yet you can see right through them.
2) Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
3) A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
4) A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
5) Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.
6) A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
7) A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
8) An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
9) A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
10) A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

Jealous Women are nuts

Venting time ladies & gents. Last night I got in a huge argument over what seemed to be nothing as big as it got. My fiancee and I met a few friends at a local kareoke bar and I decided that I would have to leave early because of my work (we took seperate cars so it was fine that she wanted to stay instead of leave with me). One of our mutual friends had just recently broken up with her significant and he showed up, which put quite a damper on her night, and made her desirious of leaving early. Since I was leaving early myself I offered to give her a ride home, yes it was in the opposite direction, but no one else would do it and she just needed to get out of there so I offered (too nice I guess :)

My BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG mistake was that I didn't tell Steph that I was taking her home, I ADMIT it was a dumb thing to not at least tell her but I honestly thought she knew, and I figured given the circumstances (bad day for ourfriend who wanted to get home & the fact everyone wanted to stay) it wouldn't be a problem. Another mistake apparantly was that I said no to going home with Steph but was willing to drive out of my way for our friend. Why not go home with Steph but drop off our friend? For several reasons: 1) I had sis's car with me and needed to get it back before morning 2) Had no clothes to change into for work 3) Driving from her house to work would take almost 2hours given new construction on M14, and 4) while the drive was the opposite direction it was only about a 40min detour to help out a friend (I would & have gone farther for other people in same sitaution).

Fast forward... end result... I forgot I had her keys on me so I end up needing to go back and give them to her. However when I got there she was drunk (she will deny being drunk but I concluded that based on two other peoples opinions and that she even stumbled to get in my car she was too drunk to drive). Naturally I refused to give her the car keys. Already pissed off that I had "run away" with another girl, this infuriated her. So now I was a lying, cheating, mean bastard who didn't love or care about her and put everyone else above her and was holding on the keys out of spite. Almost three hours later with lots of cussing, name calling, and screaming I figured she was sober enough to drive again. I'm not completely innocent her either folks, I did yell back, and I did make the mistake of going with another women without checking with mine first.

Not sure where I am headed with this, just needed to get it out I guess. I apologized for not talking with her first (though I don't think it was wrong of me to offer the ride), and I agreed not to do that again without a discussion. I also feel that I did the right thing by holding her keys no matter how sober she felt. And for those of you that know me you know that I love that girl to death and it kills me everytime she says I don't love her and that I am a shit boyfriend. She keeps saying that I need to prove I love her and that the only way I can do that is to actively put someone else down over her. I don't think that just because I am not willing to stomp on other people to show my love that it is any less sincere.... is it?

Movie Review: "V" for Vendetta

Woohooo! Finally got a chance to go see a movie at the theatre!! :) We went yesterday to go see "V" for Vendetta at the Palladium in Birgmingham (wanted to show our out of town guests the outrageously expensive 3-level theatre in upscale Birmingham). So, here we go... movie review time. Based off of 5 categories here is what I think (5 star scale):

1) Acting - 5 stars
*Hugo Weaving ("V") was simply magnificent. Although his face remains hidden behind a faceless Guy Fawkes mask, Weaving’s voice and physical presence are a focal point of the movie. He manages to prove it’s possible to do with simple intonations what some actors can’t achieve through the full use of facial expressions. It’s amazing how alive a motionless mask can be. Weaving’s movements are also gracefully minimalistic and he does an excellent job during the fight scenes. The other actors, such as Natalie Portman, Stephen Fry and Stephen Rea also do a terrific job which really help make the movie the hit it was.
2) Action/Drama - 5 stars
*While the fight scenes are crucial to the overall movie (afterall it is about vengance), they never get in the way of the story line (no senseless violence). The fight scenes in "V" are wonderfully choreographed (yet they remain viciously, realistically brutal:). V doesn’t fly through the air or exhibit superhero powers other than an awesome ability to dispatch his enemy with his cool looking knives.
3) Originality/Other - 4 stars
*Its so hard these days to come up with an original plot line for a movie. While this one doesn't break any significant barriers like the 6th sense or Matrix, it does an excellent job of convincing me that this was a unique movie with a new twist.
4) Story Line - 5 stars
*Terrorism, homosexuality, religious freedom, the right to free speech…there is a little bit of everything in this movie in relation to power of the people before control of the government. While I have heard this movie was trying to make a political statement against the US I didn't really see it. I think it touches on the reality that people should stand up to their governments and prevent the atrocities that we sometimes see. Someone remarked to me during the ending scene where large crowds of citizens marched in the streets that "Wow, wouldn't that be something if that change like that could really happen". I had to smile to myself and just say that it has many times in many countries, just ask our own Martin Luther King Jr.
5) Visual Effects - 4 stars
*Naturally every movie made these days are going to have big explosions and lots of pizzaz (spell that right?). The fight scenes and slow down actions were wonderful, the costumes were well done and scene shots were great but I had to take away a star because the explosions were just too big and unrealistic. Overall still good but too much can be bad too.

Overall Rating: 5 Stars - "V" for Vendetta is a visual feast for the eyes and an intelligent treat for the brain. The dialogue was out of this world (the first scene where "V" monologues was outragously awesome), acting was superb, and it kept your attention no matter how tired you are. I highly recommend this movie to everyone.

Women are like Camaro's

Now before you send me hate mail let me tell you how this came about. My sis and I were discussing women. I was recently hit on by a very attractive women and I was surprised since it like never happened when I was single... so I said something to her, this was how our chat went......

Robyn: you have enough clawing all over you! Take your pick!
Christopher: yeah... now I do but not when I was single
Robyn: told ya, being taken ups your hottness
Christopher: what?! ... lol... women are fucked up
Robyn: lmao, yes we are
Christopher: see.. in the guy world... taken women are being screwed (literally) everyday by their male counterpart... thus "used"and when they breakup its like they are "refurbished" and ready for use again :)
Robyn: LOL, well its nice to know were like rental cars, used until disposed of then we become like new and usable
Christopher: see... at least we make sense... a camaro is not hotter with another guy in it.. its hotter when its available for use.
Robyn: Oh yeah, good comparison ;)
Christopher: lol
Robyn: Like a Quarter Horse with a shiny saddle on it is better without someone riding it
:P
Christopher: so women are like camaros.... when there is another guy in them, its not so desirable.... but when nobody's in the seat we want to jump right in and take it for a ride
heheheheh
Robyn: LMFAO!!!!!! that's horrible! lol

Now, I was KIDDING about the comparision... I realize that women are not camaro's but I thought the conversation was funny so I had to post it. I looooove all you women (just the hot empty camaro types more ;) LOL... kidding agian! Alright, I better go, I think I've dug enought of a grave for today.... Umm, really ladies, I was kidding.... :)

ADDENDUM:
ok... so I figure I should say that there was something I missed, which is really important in this analogy. We LOVE taking care of our camaro's... treating them nicely, keeping them polished & pretty, and spending lots of money and time on them so that they will last forever... with only us. :)

American Airlines gets an "F"

So its Friday morning and I am stuck at work wrapping up a project that I didn't get done on Thursday (yeah for procrastination!)...... I am set to leave in only 4 hours, just gotta finish this one last thing and then I am OUTTA here!! Off to Sunny Arizona! Needless to say I wrapped it up just fine and met up with Steph & Avery to jet off to the airport. Side Note: Is it just me or is it reeeeeally annoying when someone says that they will drive you to the airport and then they back out for no real good reason? Anyways, we finally get to the airport (and park in outer tanzania) and everything is going smoothly.... Side Note2: American Airlines in Detroit (not Tucson) charges $2 per bag to do curbside checkin, how freakin stupid is that?! k, where was I... ahh... going smoothly, or so it seemed. We stop for food and a drink (liquor that is, Steph is afraid of flying so we had to calm her down a little.... only wish I could've given Avery one too:), which makes us a little late for the plane. We got on just fine but didn't realize until we got on the plane that they seated us SEVEN rows apart and IN THE MIDDLE! What kind of idiotic airline seats a mother and her lap riding infant child in the middle seat and then the male companion seven rows behind?! Ahhh! Side Note3: The flight attendant didn't even think about helping us out and not a single person was willing to give up an aisle or window seat so that we could sit together - talk about a plane full of asses.... Fast forward, Steph used her charm to convince the guy sitting behind her (in the middle) to switch with me so that we could at least see each other (apparantly the only nice guy on the plane), so it wasn't a 100% disaster. Three hours later and a HUGE headache we arrive at our lay over in Dallas. The next flight was pretty decent even though it was delayed a couple hours and we finally arrived in Tucson!

Now... moving onto the return trip. Our flight back out of Tucson was delayed for about 2hours and (luckily I guess) our flight in Dallas was also delayed.. for 3 hours (not so luckily). Side Note 4: I managed to forget about the problem until on our way back but I realized after leaving Dallas the first time that I forgot my jacket in the food court. Naturally, since people are so friendly in this world it disappeared... with my parking pass and car keys (yes, the keys to the car we drove to the airport in). I managed to convince an old roommate to meet Steph's brother half way to Warren to get the spare keys & bring it to us at the airport (good thing she didn't know our plane would get delayed until 3am...hahahha). Armed with a fresh set of spare keys and a baggage cart full of luggage we were ready to go home!.... that is ... after we walked to the car in outer tanzania in 10degree weather at 3am in morning.

Old vs. New

Boy, I think I am starting to get addicted to this blog thing.... its a great way to get out my frustrations (or just let people know whats going on in my head :) This blog is going to be about old versus new - geared specifically at new vehicles. Another common topic of discussion of late is whether or not it makes more sense to buy a new vehicle or get an older used vehicle (long-term costs). Ok... here we go. The below charts are taken from Edmunds.com - a very respected website on vehicle information.

This is for a brand-new 2006 Toyota Sienna LE (base price of $27k) - this is a very highly rated minivan w/ excellent reviews.

		Year 1		Year 2		Year 3		Year 4		Year 5		5-yr Total
Depreciation		$4,176		$2,989		$2,631		$2,333		$2,093		$14,222
Financing		$1,764		$1,424		$1,058		$665		$241		$5,152
Insurance		$1,451		$1,502		$1,555		$1,609		$1,665		$7,782
Taxes & Fees		$1,875		$133		$119		$108		$108		$2,343
Fuel		$1,568		$1,615		$1,663		$1,713		$1,764		$8,323
Maintenance		$389		$621		$541		$1,872		$925		$4,348
Repairs		$0		$0		$93		$224		$327		$644
Yearly Totals		$11,223		$8,284		$7,660		$8,524		$7,123		$42,814

This is for a used 2002 Toyota Sienna LE (base price of $14k) - exactly same as above but 4 years older.

		Year 1		Year 2		Year 3		Year 4		Year 5		5-yr Total
Depreciation		$1,759		$1,543		$1,358		$1,203		$1,080		$6,943
Financing		$950		$767		$571		$359		$130		$2,777
Insurance		$1,388		$1,437		$1,487		$1,539		$1,593		$7,444
Taxes & Fees		$965		$68		$61		$55		$55		$1,204
Fuel		$1,646		$1,695		$1,746		$1,798		$1,852		$8,737
Maintenance		$854		$1,066		$411		$1,503		$563		$4,397
Repairs		$349		$406		$472		$549		$640		$2,416
Yearly Totals		$7,911		$6,982		$6,106		$7,006		$5,913		$33,918

So we can see that even though it seems that a new car would be less costly, the reality is that the older car will actually cost you less every year. Even though maintenance will be higher, they are easily offset by depreciation & higher fees/insurance. Now that you can see "cold hard facts" you may be able to determine that the logical choice would be to choose an older vehicle over a newer one.... of course, this is provided you can "handle" not having something flashy & new.

Conundrum

Alrighty... in thinking mode now... A Conundrum is defined in the dictionary as " A paradoxical, insoluble, or difficult problem; a dilemma". What brought this up is a recent situation with my fiancee. You see she loves her kid and loves her to no end. Firstly, let me say that it is completely awesome that she loves this kid so much, truly a wonderful mom. My problem is that she is making it a prerequisite to recieve her love based on whether I love the kid or not. As a result, her affections towards me are somewhat supressed (she is "waiting" for me to love her kid). This would be where the catch-22 situation kicks in. I love her to death but I'm starting to see my own affections towards her decline over the recent weeks. I have thought about it a lot and besides the standard figuring out the many compromises that we need to do to live together forever I am feeling like I am not that important to her. Why? I think its because 1) I see her love that little rascal to death and 2) at the same time her affections towards me are limited and as a result it makes me feel like I am more of a resource then a desired mate. Are my affections waning for self-preserving purposes (don't want to get hurt)? Good question. I'm at a loss as to what to do. More later... stupid phone at work is ringing.... do these people think I am her to work and to solve their problems?!

Necessity of Life - Communication

One theory that I wish to cast upon you is that communication is the single most important factor in our lives (outside of physical necessities). We cannot interact or even survive without communication. It is for that reason that we are always communicating with those around us, whether in verbal or non-verbal ways. Scientific studies have indicated what isolation (and therefore lack of communication) can do to a person. If you are not familiar with the results they include; delusion, weight loss, hysteria, depression, and in some cases death. In fact, one of the most common and effective methods of torture is isolation.

We can see that communication is to a certain degree at least, detrimental to our health. Despite this we scurry about not talking to those around us. How many of you can honestly say that you have talked to every person who works near you or every person that sat next to you in a desk in school. Not many I imagine. So if communication is such a vital part of us as human beings, why is it that so many shy away from communicating? I would venture to guess that even though communication can bring about so much good, it also brings out the bad and as a result, outside of the safe means of business or jest many people speak as if they walk on egg-shells. We do this mainly because we are afraid of saying something stupid, wrong, hurtful, or offensive. Politically correct is a word all too often used.

When someone is communicating with you the first response we typically have is based off of the emotions that we are feeling at that moment. For example, if someone is talking to us and we are in a hostile or angry mood we will likely take whatever said as negative, likewise when we are in a good mood the opposite can happen. I would venture to argue that if we were to accept the necessity of communication and take a more “logical” approach to those we interact with then we would actually be in a better mood overall, afterall, if we use a logical view, then the harm that can be caused by communication can be greatly reduced. Remember to look at the whole picture before making a response and remember that our moods interpret what we hear & see. Interaction with others is vital to our survival and a keystone to basic happiness..... Well, more another day perhaps, but now I have to get back to that pesky little task called “work” :)

Looking Back.....

When looking upon your own life...

Ask yourself not what kind of car you drive, but how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.
Ask yourself not how large your house is, but how many people you have welcomed into your home.
Ask yourself not about the clothes in your closet, but how many people you’ve helped to clothe.
Ask yourself not what your highest salary was, but if you compromised your character to obtain it.
Ask yourself not what your job title was, but if you performed your job to the best of your ability.
Ask yourself not how many friends you have, but how many people to whom you were a friend.
Ask yourself not in what neighborhood you live, but how you treat your neighbors.
Ask yourself not about the difference in the color of skin, but about the content of character.
Ask yourself not about the hardships you have endured, but benefits you have earned.
Ask yourself not about the arguments you have won, but the conflicts you have resolved

Ask yourself not how you can pay back kindness in the past, but how you can pay forward kindness in the future.

Faithful Bunny Companion & Osendrecht

Ok, so here goes my first Blog. Due to a complete writers block I had to rely on those around me who actually do this kind of thing to give me an idea. Thus, here is a blog about my childhoold stuffed animal, also known as my faithful bunny companion named Floppy-Ears (or Flopps for short).

First let me tell you about the place that we lived... not much to do with Flopps but I thought it would be cool to put it in anyways since I am down memory lane. We were in the Netherlands at the time in a city called Osendrecht somewhere around 1987. Its hard to believe that I can still remember it being that long ago but I can still remember little bits and pieces of that house. The backyard hosted our bunnies & Pigeons (yes we actually had live ones). It's also where my bike was always at (which is where I used to hide in my bike pouch liquor chocolates purchased from the candy shop down the way). I don't remember the kitchen too well but I do remember always doing dishes! Which reminds me of a time that I was real mean to my mom... she made this homemade mac&cheese dinner and I was screaming and yelling about how horrible it was.... I also remember it not really being that bad but I wanted Kraft (hooked on Kraft I guess).... so.... SORRY MOM!! Anyways, back to the house. I remember that we had a spiral stairwell to go upstairs to the bedroom which was really cool. The only other thing I can remember is that we had a standup chess set w/ stools that stood by the front entrance and we used to place sometimes while we waited for our ride to school... oh yeah, and we had the first push button phone that I can remember having & it had cool melody ringtones on it :)

Now onward! I have know Flopps since I was about 7 years old. Funny thing is that I actually got him as a present for my mom (Christmas I believe). My mom being wonderful and sweet as she always was let me "take care of him".... indefinetly :) He's a light blue stuffed bunny with a small pink nose, red tongue, and brown eyes. He got his name from his big floppy ears (boy that was a hard one to figure out), which then got shortened to Flopps in good ol fashion American lazyness. Flopps was my best friend, my companion, and even my weapon of choice. Weapon you may ask? Well yes! If you grab his two ears in one hand he becomes a very effective bludgeoning weapon for offensive or defensive maneuvers.... which becomes very handy when you have an older brother. From the moment I began to take care of him we were inseperable, we slept together, went on trips together, and consoled each other when needed. At every show and tell at school Flopps would be there. Whenever we went on a trip, Flopps would be there. And whenever I was sick, Flopps would be there to be sick with me. Back down memory lane....

I had a white bike called the "White Lightening", my first bike which I used for many many years. In addition to the chocolate concealing pouch on the back, there was a basket on the front handlebars, which is where my lookout would sit. Who? Well, Flopps of course! As a family we actually rode our bikes all over the place. I even remember once where we all rode bikes to a small set of islands where no cars were allowed. That trip was a lot of fun and you can bet Flopps was there the whole time acting as my windbreaker on those front handlebars. I remember that my connection with my faithful bunny companion was soooo strong that I could not imagine eating Rabbit, afterall, who could do that to a bunny?! My family played a very cruel trick on me one while at a restaurant. Tricking me into believing it was chicken they ruthlessly revealed the truth at the end of dinner! I was scarred for life! :) Washing Flopps was also an issue, I mean could you imagine what it would be like to be in a washer... and then the dryer?! Poor Flopps had to go through hours of torturous circular rides in sweltering heat! It no wonder that my mom must have done it while I was at school cause I would have had to go save him! (It did take me some time to figure out how he got clean every once in a while without my help).

Ok, so this is A LOT longer then I thought so I will wrap it up with a more recent story. After getting to college I lived in a house on Sheridan street. I got home one day I found blue bunny stuffing all over the living room. Flopps had been torn open at the neck and all his stuffing ripped out. FURIOUS! BROKEN-HEARTED! AHHH!! I didn't know what to do! Here my most trusted companion was spread out over the entire room. Who could do such evil?! Along with a few roommates there were two dogs - Orion & Samantha. Now while at this time I didn't really sleep with Flopps anymore but he did have a spot in my room, which apparantly made Orion jealous. He was too short to get Flopps himself and he must have gotten Sam to help him out. Mom wonderfully agreed to do the reconstructive surgery and despite a few noticable scars he has been restored.

So... to my faithful bunny companion Flopps.... I salute you for being there for me, being my defender, and being a true friend! -- Your Faithful Human Companion, Fur